u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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