Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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