Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
false alarm, still single
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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