I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
