just come out here and I will go home with you...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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