I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
