Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
