Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just had sex on a roof
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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