is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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