I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
