i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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