Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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