so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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