This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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