Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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