sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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