Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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