About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
