called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
