so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm getting married
To pizza
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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