Its about making memories worth repressing
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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