Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
