and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
