i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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