just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't deserve a penis
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize