So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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