I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
