So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
