She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How naked do you want me to be?
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