Cold hands, warm shart.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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