I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
