Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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