I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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