umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
