After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
