I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
