you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
