what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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