Someone shit on the floor
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
