well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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