Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
