I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
