you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
