why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
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Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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