My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize