I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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