you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
