then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.