One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY