it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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