Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.