Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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