i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
