Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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