Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My pussy is not your playground.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
