i think my mom watched the whole time
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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