If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
