whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
try to milk me bitch
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
