is your mom at the bar?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
