Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
