doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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