how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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